Pump Up Your Book Chats with Relationship Expert Barbora Knobova
Author Interviews, Featured — By Dorothy Thompson on November 2, 2009 at 5:58 pm
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Editor’s Note: Barbora will be right in this very spot live on Thursday, Nov. 12 from 8 a.m. until 8 p.m., answering any questions you may have about her book or relationship questions in general. Leave a question for Barbora anytime until 8 p.m on Nov. 12 and she’ll answer them for you. We will also be hosting a book giveaway! If you would like a chance to win a FREE copy of her book, Tales for Delicious Girls, leave a question below with your email address underneath your comment. The winner will be announced on Nov. 13. Good luck!
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Barbora Knobova is a writer, relationship coach and expert in Delicious Life. A world traveler, she is one of those rare world citizens who live everywhere and nowhere. Barbora is a firm believer in female friendship, loyalty and bonding. She writes hilarious, sharp-witted, caustically apt, ironic, moving and very true books for strong, independent, smart, fearless women. Barbora has also written several self-improvement books and teaches women about the importance of self-love in relationships and life in general. Barbora speaks eight languages and has found her home away from home in New York, London and Milan. She is always on the move, accompanied by her beagle Brinkley, the nasty dog from her new book, Tales for Delicious Girls.
http://barboraknobova.wordpress.com
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Thank you for this interview, Barbora. Do you remember writing stories as a child or did the writing bug come later? Do you remember your first published piece?
Barbora: I learned to read and write when I was four years old and I’ve been reading and writing ever since. I remember writing poems, short stories and plays for my puppet theater which my family was then obliged to watch and praise. My grandfather was a writer and I grew up surrounded by books. If I remember correctly, my first published piece was an article for a school newspaper many, many years ago.
Tales for Delicious Girls by Barbora Knobova (click on cover to purchase)
What do you consider as the most frustrating side of becoming a published author and what has been the most rewarding?
Barbora: I think that nothing has been frustrating so far. There have been challenges, yes, but I welcome challenges and obstacles because they help me learn and become a better person and a better writer. The most rewarding thing about being a published author is connecting with your readers and seeing that they like your book. It’s something unbelievably wonderful and it is what makes writing worthwhile.
Are you married or single and how do you combine the writing life with home life? Do you have support?
Barbora: I live with my fiancé. He is my big fan and supporter and he encourages me so much. He understands that I need time and space to write and to promote my books and he is there for me every step of the way. He is a very loving, caring and understanding man and I appreciate his unconditional support very much. I’m not always easy to live with and I’m a very unpredictable and impulsive woman but he seems to love it.
What do you like to do for fun when you’re not writing? Where do you like to vacation? Can you tell us briefly about this?
Barbora: I love going for walks with my dog Brinkley, I like swimming and I play badminton and golf. Authors usually have a sedentary lifestyle and I try to make up for it in my free time as much as I can. I also like spoiling myself every now and then with spa treatments and I’m a passionate dancer. I prefer books to TV and new books keep piling up on my nightstand, I love reading. I usually spend my vacation on the beach and I enjoy visiting my relatives and friends in Italy, it’s my home away from home.
If you could be anywhere in the world for one hour right now, where would that place be and why?
Barbora: I would like to be in Milan, surrounded by my family and friends. It’s one of my favorite places in the world. I love the atmosphere, energy and charm of the city. And of course the wonderful Italian cuisine! My number two choice would be London which is very different from Milan but I love its style and zest.
Who is your biggest fan?
Barbora: Definitely my mum who is also my toughest critic. My fiancé. And Brinkley, my beagle, who has involuntarily become a star of Tales for Delicious Girls and even gets fan mail!
Where’s your favorite place to write at home?
Barbora: I have my personal writing space which is a blue sofa full of pillows. It’s surrounded by windows and there’s lots of light. A cup of good tea and I’m ready to write. I prefer writing in the morning, especially in the summer because I love the morning sun and the fresh air.
What’s your favorite library and why?
Barbora: I love all libraries! Their atmosphere is wonderful. But the truth is that I used to go to libraries more often when I was in college, today I prefer to buy books because it’s usually difficult for me to part with a book I love.
What’s your favorite bookstore and why?
Barbora: I don’t have a favorite bookstore, there are so many! I love small indie bookstores, secondhand bookstores and even the huge ones. I often buy books online because I like discovering new independent authors, but nothing beats the atmosphere of a small, family-run brick-and-mortar bookstore.
Do you have any pets?
Barbora: I have a dog, my beagle Brinkley, the dog from Tales for Delicious Girls. He is five years old, stubborn and full of energy, just like me. I grew up with dogs and I can’t imagine not having a dog in my life.
What are you reading right now?
Barbora: Corrigan’s Pool by Dot Ryan, an amazing novel. Dot Ryan is a fabulous writer, a lovely lady and a good friend of mine, and her novel is worth reading.
Tell us a secret no one else knows.
Barbora: If I tell you, it won’t be a secret anymore! My biggest secret is that I actually do have a secret. I’m not considered a secretive person by my friends and family. But I think that we all have our little secrets and it’s a good thing.
What’s the first thing you notice when you meet someone?
Barbora: The person’s hands. Hands are more revealing than most people know.
Have you ever won anything?
Barbora: Nothing big but I hope my time is still to come.
What’s on your to do list today?
Barbora: A chapter of my new book, an interview about Tales for Delicious Girls with Kelly Wallace on Blogtalk Radio, a walk with my dog and dinner with my best friend.
I understand that you are touring with Pump Up Your Book Promotion in November and December via a virtual book tour. Can you tell us all why you chose a virtual book tour to promote your book online?
Barbora: I think that online promotion is the most powerful promotion tool for authors. A virtual book tour makes it easier to connect with your readers and spread your message. It’s flexible, fast and incredibly effective. The team behind Pump Up Your Book Promotion is absolutely fabulous and I would recommend their tours to every author out there.
Thank you for this interview, Barbora. Good luck on your virtual book tour!
Barbora: Thank you very much, it was my pleasure!
If you would like to see Barbora’s official tour page, click here!
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17 Comments
Hi Barbara,
I wandered out to your website and your book sounds interesting. In your book it seems you talk about not conforming “to the needs, ideas or demands of relationships” but I’m a bit confused on what that means. Couldn’t one say that this is what compromise is all about? How would you differentiate between compromise and conforming?
Thanks.
Cheryl
Sorry…just got in here…storm brewing outside and my nerves are a wreck, lol. Welcome, Barbara!
Okay, I’ve got a question for you. Remember folks, I’m not allowed to win a copy…besides…I have mine! So leave your questions before she’s gone…okay, Barbora, here’s one of my many questions. I’ve always believed that we are all on a journey to find our Higher Self. And by Higher Self I mean where we want to be and who we want to be. I’m not so sure you can find it in this life, although Mother Teresa would be a great example of doing so…she knew what she wanted to do with her life and she went where it was needed. I don’t think she would have done that if she really truly didn’t believe that’s where she’d find her higher self. Do you believe you have found your higher self and if so, when did you realize it?
Hi Cheryl!
This is a great question, thank you for asking!
The most important thing is to always be yourself in a relationship. There’s nothing wrong with compromising (and every relationship requires partners to compromise in certain areas). However, sometimes there is a fine line between compromising with our partner and sacrificing ourselves. Many women believe that they have to be what their partner wants them to be and they end up giving up their friends, hobbies, things they love. They act like relationship chameleons because somewhere deep inside they don’t believe they are good enough for their man (and they conform to a relationship that doesn’t make them happy). In a relationship we should meet each other half way, not try to keep up with someone who keeps running away. First we have to love ourselves and pursue our own happiness to be able to love our parner and make him happy (and let him make us happy). This is one of the messages of my book, Tales for Delicious Girls. You cannot be loved unless you love yourself and unless you believe that you are worthy of love.
Thank you, Dorothy! I hope the storm doesn’t get too bad, such storms freak me out too.
I think that to find your higher self you need experience and a certain amount of “enlightenment”, if you will. To me, finding your higher self means getting to know yourself really well, being a balanced person and living with passion, purpose and gratitude.
In the last ten years, I’ve gone a long way. I’ve learned to love myself and accept myself, I’ve discovered what I don’t want and what I truly desire. I’ve learned to live for today and to be grateful for what I have now in order to receive more things to be grateful for tomorrow. I have found my purpose in life.
I would say that every day I’m getting closer to my higher self and it’s a very empowering journey. Therefore, I’m very grateful for every life experience, good or bad, because it helps me learn, become stronger and wiser.
Great answer, Barbora…thank you!
I’ve got another question…I know you’ve answered this a million times on your tour, but what led to you wanting to help people with their relationship problems?
Barbora, what kind of advice would you give a good friend after a bad breakup?
Thank you, Dorothy! In my twenties I went through lots of relationship growth. I made many mistakes in relationships, I chose the wrong men and when I realized what I was doing, I wanted to know exactly why I was doing it and what made me choose such guys. I started studying relationship coaching primarily to coach myself :) I wanted to understand relationship psychology and decipher my own self-destructive patterns. I started writing about relationships after I had gone through the healing process because I wanted to share my experience with women and show them the path to self-love, balance and relationship happiness. I think that this makes Tales for Delicious Girls special. It’s not just theory, it’s real life, and women find the book encouraging because they relate to my experience. A friend of mine, a psychologist who works with women and couples, uses Tales for Delicious Girls as a therapy book, which is absolutely amazing. She says that every woman who finds herself in a difficult life or relationship situation should read it. Right now I’m finishing a workbook – a guide to self-love for women in which I reveal my personal “method” that I used myself to get rid of emotional patterns and start loving myself. I’m always happy to see that my books and my work help women find themselves, it’s very rewarding and I’m grateful for this wonderful opportunity to support all those “delicious girls” out there.
A break-up is always painful, there’s no doubt about that. In Tales for Delicious Girls there is actually a chapter that deals with break-ups and this is what I have written in the last paragraph:
“Every break-up gives you the opportunity to experience something better. It gives you back the possibility to feel joy, to discover new things, new men and last but not least, yourself.”
I believe that a break-up is not the end, it’s the beginning. Your past relationships do not define who you are, they define who you were. Give yourself lots of love, learn from your past experience, heal and move on without fear.
Thanks for answering my question Barbara. What is the best piece of advice you have ever received about relationships?
Thanks again.
Cheryl
Thanks, Cheryl!
It’s simple: “When you’re not sure about your relationship, imagine yourself with the same man in 20 years.” This advice really works and it’s very wise! With time, your relationship changes. Will you be there for each other when passion turns into friendship? Is your bond strong enough? Will you still have something to talk about in 20 years? Asking yourself similar questions really helps you understand the nature of your relationship. (This advice came from my mother when I was a teenager and I still think it’s the best relationship advice I’ve ever received.)
What a great interview! What is your favorite thing about writing?
April
Ajpohren@iowatelecom.net
Thank you, April!
I love the creativity of the writing process and the freedom that comes with writing. As I said in the interview, I also thoroughly enjoy connecting with my readers and getting their feedback because that’s what makes writing worthwhile.
Recently I have started writing a novel which is so different from writing short stories, essays and self-improvement books. I’m creating my own world and in a way I’m reinventing myself thanks to the main character of the story. It’s very exciting!
To me, writing is a wonderful adventure and a lifelong passion.
Congratulations goes to April who won a free copy of Barbora’s book!
Congrats April!