Pump Up Your Book Chats with Richard Arneson

Richard Arneson’s thirteen years working in corporate America drove him up a tree―literally. Once he escaped the telecommunications industry after ten years of service, he built a tree house―ostensibly for his two young sons―installed electricity and cable TV, and set out to fix himself, deciding that dealing with the memories of working in the goofy-as-hell world of corporate America could only be accomplished by getting them down on paper. Citizen Dick is the result. Arneson is currently working on his next novel, The Tree House, which, ironically, is not being written in his tree house but in the cab of his 1950 Chevy pickup truck. He lives in Dallas, Texas with his wife, a two-time cancer survivor who can’t remember why she married him, and their two young sons. He plans on building a second story on his tree house in the summer of 2010, one large enough to accommodate a baby grand piano and two dental chairs.  Find out more about Citizen Dick by visiting the website at http://www.citizendickthebook.com.

Thank you for this interview, Richard.  Do you remember writing stories as a child or did the writing bug come later?  Do you remember your first published piece?

I wrote some as a child, but I was a lot more about telling stories.  I think at a young age I was too lazy to write.  I find my two sons—ages 13 and 9—are very similar.  They’re great at telling stories, but getting them to write them down is, well, impossible.  I think they’re lazy, then I remember I was the same way, and now I’m…well, I guess I am lazy.

What do you consider as the most frustrating side of becoming a published author and what has been the most rewarding?

I think it’s tough to hear so many opinions of your work without taking every critique or suggestion too much to heart.  In other words, hearing so many opinions about what that person thinks needs to be done, what needs to be cut out, etc., is tough—for me, at least.  I wish I was better at telling myself Just go with your gut, just go with your gut. I’m proud of the fact that I’ve always done that in terms of writing, but before I do go with my gut, I drive myself crazy before going with my instincts.  And I’ve learned to never ask somebody if they like your work.  You’ll never be satisfied with the answer, even if it’s positive.  If it’s positive, you’re always wondering if you dragged a lie out of them, if they’re too polite to tell you otherwise.

The most rewarding part for me is having somebody talk about how much they like the way I develop characters, that once they’re finished reading the novel they really feel they know them intimately.

Also, seeing the finished product is pretty heady stuff.  For some reason, when I see a copy of Citizen Dick I think that there will be copies—at least in my family—long after I’m gone, even if those reading it will think I was a pretty odd dude.

Are you married or single and how do you combine the writing life with home life?  Do you have support?

I’m married with two sons—Peyton and Brooks—and writing Citizen Dick was incredibly challenging for a number of reasons, novel writing aside.  My wife had cancer for the second time in about 5 years, and going through dozens of chemo and radiation treatments, 8 or so operations, and probably a full two weeks, when combined, of hospital stays, was an amazing test of everything I’m about or believe in.  It’s funny, but when you go through all of that, you can’t help but feel like you’re a better person as a result.  I know our marriage is stronger because of it.

But, back to the question, I had to squeeze in writing and editing whenever and wherever I could.  I remember editing parts of Citizen Dick while waiting for my son to finish soccer practice.  When a parent would head in my direction I’d duck down so they wouldn’t see me and take time away from my work.  I wrote a half a chapter while waiting to be called for jury duty once.  Again, whenever and wherever.

Citizen Dick by Richard Arneson (click on cover to purchase at Amazon)

What do you like to do for fun when you’re not writing?  Where do you like to vacation?  Can you tell us briefly about this?

I love to hang out with my kids, play sports with them, watch movies…just hang out.  They’re very different from each other, which makes it a little tough to find something that both want to do.  My oldest is sports obsessed, while my youngest, who’s 9-years-old, is desperate to be like Bear Grills, that British guy on the Discovery Channel.

I picture my youngest son as a park ranger when he gets older.  Unfortunately, he has this uncanny ability to get bitten by whatever animal is around at the time, be it dog, cat, mouse, crab…whatever.  But maybe that’s something they address in park ranger school.

We haven’t been able to take a vacation in a while due to my wife’s bouts with cancer.  Last summer she had to spend 7 weeks living in Houston with my sister’s family so she could get daily radiation treatments at M.D. Anderson Medical Center.  So that was our vacation…watching my wife’s hair struggle to grow back in.  Good times.

If you could be anywhere in the world for one hour right now, where would that place be and why?

Probably in San Francisco, where I lived for a couple of years, just hanging out on the lawn in front of that place that serves the Irish whiskey drinks…you know what I’m talking about, right?  I can’t remember the bar or the drink right now, but that big expanse of grass that overlooks the bay is spectacular. The weather’s awesome, and the city is, in my opinion, the best that a city has to offer.  There’s an energy there that blows me away.  When I was there I hated to go to bed.  I was sure that I was missing out on something.

Who is your biggest fan?

I would say that my sons are my biggest fans, which is good because I’m their biggest fan.  We can make each other laugh pretty easily.  It’s too bad that Citizen Dick won’t be appropriate reading for them for several years.  Given their current senses of humor, I think they’ll get a kick out of it.  In fact, I picture them reading it and thinking, “Yep, that’s something dad definitely wrote.  Nobody else would have thought of that.”

Where’s your favorite place to write at home?

I built a tree house for my kids when my wife had cancer the first time.  It seemed like a good project to take on as a means of keeping their minds off their mom’s hair falling out and all of the times she’d be in one of the cancer ward’s isolation rooms.  They’d go many days at a time without seeing her; kids and germ-free environments don’t mix.

Anyway, I built the tree house, but got carried away.  I kept expanding it and sprucing it up about the time summer came around.  Naturally it needed air conditioning if my sons were going to be able to watch videos up there, and running a 50 foot extension cord up the tree was a pain.  So, naturally, I had to go the conduit route, and if you’re going to go to that trouble, why not jam as many wires into the conduit as possible?  So now the tree house has electricity, cable TV, a phone line, and Ethernet connectivity.  It’s a fantastic place to write—very rustic, but comfortable.

I’d like to install a urinal and have it empty into the neighbor’s pool.  He hates the tree house, and called Dallas City Code Compliance on me in an effort to shut down the entire project.  Not a chance…they loved the work I’d done; one of the inspectors brought his kid over to see it one night.  It’s pretty cool, whether you’re ten or fifty-years-old.

Do you have any pets?

I have two dogs and two cats.  The cats look good, but they spend most of their time hiding from my youngest son.  I’d love to build a relationship with them, but when they come out, my son tries to capture them (see Bear Grills comment above).  When he does catch one, he takes their mug shot with my camera phone, then dresses them up in little inmate outfits.  He’s a funny kid.

We have an 18-year-old dog that I’m certain would like to die but can’t commit suicide without opposable thumbs.  One day he’ll drag a shovel into the house with his mouth and have a bulls-eye taped on his head.  He’s blind, deaf, has Alzheimer’s, smells like hell, and gets nipped at by the other dog, a real bitchy animal who I think has some poodle in her.  We got her from an animal rescue service, but they assured us she was good with kids.  Again, I’ll have to refer you to the Bear Grills section above, the part that talks about my son getting bitten.  This poodle hybrid would bite Jesus if he got near her.

Tell us a secret no one else knows.

I once dated a girl who ate her own hair.  Just pulled it off her head and ate it.  She was beautiful, but her hair didn’t look very good.  It was clean, but very thinned out.  And she mainly pulled from the right side of her melon.  Odd girl.

What’s on your to do list today?

Take my sons to the batting cage.  We’re a big baseball family—my wife knows more about baseball than 90 percent of men.  I think she must have been in love with a baseball player at one point, but hasn’t ever admitted to it.  I’ve coached my sons’ baseball teams for years.  I love it!

Now I’ve got a couple of fun questions for you.  If Tom Hanks, in the movie Cast Away, unearthed a copy of your book, how would that help him find a way off the island?

Because one of the characters in Citizen Dick has a dream about retiring to his own island, I don’t think Tom Hanks’ character would appreciate that part.  Hopefully he’d laugh a lot, but would accidentally flip past the page about the island.  If I was stranded on an island and had lost 50 percent of my body weight, I wouldn’t want to read about a guy who wanted to have his own island.  That’s like wanting to have sex with Madonna, then becoming friends with Sean Penn.  Actually, I can’t make any sense out of that statement.  It made perfect sense when I wrote it, so I’ll leave it in.

You have a chance to appear on the hit talent show for authors, American Book Idol, with judges Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, Kara Dioguardi and the newest addition, Ellen DeGeneres, to determine whether your book will make it to Hollywood and become a big screenplay where you’d make millions of dollars.  What would impress them more – your book cover, an excerpt or your author photo – and why?

I’d never stand a chance against Citizen Dick’s cover.  My author photo is a black & white mug shot that was taken outside the Dallas County Courthouse. It’s not real, but it was my way of getting out of taking one of those goofy author photos.  I imagined myself having to stand next to a tree with a smart looking sport coat on and sucking in my cheeks.  I couldn’t deal with that.  No, my cover would definitely win out.

You just got word that your book has received the 2010 NY Times Bestselling Book Award and you have to attend the ceremony to give an acceptance speech.  Anyone who’s anyone will be there and it’s your shot for stardom.  What would you say and who would you thank?

I’d definitely thank my mom, who was very, very encouraging about utilizing my creativity.  And she made our household a lot of fun, a miracle considering there wasn’t a whole lot to be happy about.  She passed away about four years ago, and while I knew she’d made a huge impact on me, I had no idea until she was gone.

Also, my kids would get a lot of speech time.  As I mention in Citizen Dick’s acknowledgements page, hearing them laugh reminds me why I believe in God.

Can you tell us all why you chose a virtual book tour to promote your book online?

I think it’s a fabulous way to reach a lot of people you might not have gotten a chance to reach.  I believe in the “throw it against the wall and see if it sticks” theory when it comes to advertising, marketing and public relations.  I would never downplay the importance of anything as a means of publicizing your book.  It’s like most things, it’s a numbers game, and your readers are just as capable of buying books as readers of a magazine or newspaper.

Thank you for this interview, Richard. Good luck on your virtual book tour!