Pump Up Your Book Chats with Frank Zaccari

Frank Zaccari A native of upstate New York, Frank Zaccari earned a degree in finance from California State University at Sacramento after serving as a military medic in the U.S. Air Force. He spent over 25 years in the high-tech industry holding positions from account representative to CEO, and for nearly 20 years specialized in turn-around management of companies under 100 million dollars. After becoming a single, custodial parent after nearly 25 years of marriage, he left an industry that he loved to buy a small business in order to be home to raise his children. He is currently the owner of an insurance agency and resides in Sacramento, California. Frank Zaccari’s previous book is From The Ashes: The Rise of the University of Washington Volleyball Program.

His latest book is When the Wife Cheats.

You can visit his website at www.frankzaccari.com.

Visit him on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001207722973.

Q: Thank you for this interview, Frank.  Can you tell us why you wrote your book, When the Wife Cheats?

I wrote the book When the Wife Cheats at the recommendation of family/grief counselors. The counselors told me this was the first generation in the United States were the wife/mother was leaving the family. They added there is little to no data regarding the impact on the family particularly daughters since men are not willing to talk. They said writing what occurred would help my daughters validate their feelings.

As the word about my wife’s affair and leaving the family made its way around our community, a strange thing happened; male friends and acquaintances told me how sorry they were and shared a similar experience. I was shocked. I had no idea so many men had been victimized by infidelity. I thought I was the only man who was so terrible that my wife not only left me, she left our entire family. I knew something was terribly wrong with our marriage, but I had no idea what it was and my wife was not forthcoming with the reason.

As I heard more stories, I started to see a pattern, some common threads in all the stories. I decided to write this book about infidelity from the man’s and children’s perspective. It is based on actual situations told to me by many men who went through the devastation of their wives’ infidelity. Their story and mine were woven into one story.

When the Wife Cheats Q: Which part of the book was the hardest to write?

There were three very difficult parts to writing When the Wife Cheats. The first was discovering, and then helping my daughters to cope with and ultimately survive the lies, deceit, betrayal, and devastation of my former wife’s actions.  The second was hearing and feeling the deep hurt and betrayal from other men and their now adult children that spoke to me. The third was reliving what happened to my family.

Q: Does your book have an underlying message that readers should know about?

I hope and pray that you never suffer the devastation of infidelity, but if you do, let me leave you with this one last thought. When you find yourself in the depths of depression and sorrow; when you don’t believe you have the strength to even get out of bed; when you have no idea how you are going to survive the next hour – let alone raise your children. Believe me you will have ALL of these feeling.  When you feel completely overwhelmed – remember this”

Look up…Get up…And never ever Give up.

Q: Do you remember when the writing bug hit?

I always toyed with the idea of writing a book, but never found the time or a topic of interest.  I received the motivation to sit down and write When the Wife Cheats during the many counseling sessions I attended with my daughters. What I learned was a woman walking away from her family is a relatively new development. Being a guy, I had no desire to even talk about this situation let alone write a book. I discussed the idea with my daughters. They both agreed it would be a good idea and they wanted to be involved in the process.  This topic is now being discussed on radio and television talk shows. We need to get this topic out in the open. Too many men and children are suffering in silence.

Q: Where’s your favorite place to write at home?

Writing When the Wife Cheats was a very emotional experience. My youngest daughter was still living with me at the time and I did not want to upset her while I was writing the book. I also wanted to be completely available for her when she wanted to talk or vent. So on the nights when my emotions would not let me sleep I would get up, go into the extra bedroom and write the book. When the Wife Cheats was largely written between the hours of 1:00 and 4:00 in the morning when my daughter was asleep.

Q: What do you do to get away from it all?

When I lived in Seattle, I became heavily involved with the University of Washington volleyball program. The program has become my escape. In fact I wrote a book named From the Ashes: The story of the University of Washington volleyball program. I still spend time working on the program’s business plan, helping them raise money and traveling whenever possible to watch these amazing young women represent their university with pride and the utmost class.

Q: Are you familiar with the social networks and do you actively participate?

Since I self published When the Wife Cheats all the promotional activities are up to me. I am becoming more familiar with using facebook. I am by no means an expert but I try to keep friends, family and readers up to date on the status of my books. I have also used You Tube to post a book trailer for When the Wife Cheats. The trailer can be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqPOm5WHr-E I hope as people read and hopefully enjoy this book and the trailer they will spread the word to their friends. This is a topic that must be discussed to help men and children survive the devastating effects of infidelity.

Q: What is the most frustrating part of being an author?

When the Wife Cheats is my first book so the entire writing process is new for me. The part I found to be most frustrating the editing process especially the constant re-reading of the manuscript for the umpteenth time.

Q: What is the most rewarding?

By far the most rewarding aspect was completing the book and then actually seeing the final published version.

Q: Your book has just been awarded a Pulitzer.  Who would you thank?

I would thank my daughters Stephanie and Sara. They did not deserve the lies, deceit, betrayal and abandonment we all had to endure. Yet somehow we survived. I survived mainly because of their love and support during the saddest and lowest point in my life.  We survived because of our unwavering love for each other and the commitment to our family of three.  Both Stephanie and Sara have grown to be wonderful daughters, and soon loving wives and loving nurturing mothers.  Being their father is the greatest joy of my life.

Q: Thank you so much for this interview, (name of author).  Do you have any final words?

Thank you for the opportunity to tell you about When the Wife Cheats.


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