Pump Up Your Book Chats with Nemo James, author of Just A Few Seconds

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Just a Few Seconds Book Tour

Biography

Born and based in England, Nemo James worked as a professional musician and singer/songwriter for more than 30 years. He now lives in Croatia with his wife Federika and their cat Jutko. His first book “Just a Few Seconds” was published this year. You can find Nemo’s website at www.nemojames.com or he welcomes friend requests at www.facebook.com/nemojames.

About Just a Few Seconds

Just A Few Seconds is a story of one man’s experience in the music business. It is an amusing and true story of a successful freelance musician whose gigs ranged from private parties to the very rich and famous to the roughest London pubs where playing the wrong song at the wrong time meant the difference between life and death. He takes more twists, turns and knocks than a mouse trapped in a pinball machine but the ending shows how the road to success can lead us down the strangest and most desolate of paths. If you are looking for the usual rock star memoirs full of sex drugs and rock and roll then this book is not for you, but if you are interested in a unique insight into the music business that reads like a thriller then this book won’t disappoint.

Just a Few Seconds Book Tour

Thank you for this interview Nemo. Do you remember writing stories as a child or did the writing bug come later? Do you remember your first published piece?

A: I was a lazy sod at school and only once did I get enthused enough to make an effort with my homework and write a story. The teacher was really impressed and gave me top marks but it was so unlike anything I had previously handed in she didn’t believe I had written it anyway. I felt so hard done by I never bothered after that. I just couldn’t see the logic in pushing a pen when you could be kicking a ball so I was definitely a late developer. No I can’t remember my first published piece, I would have to consult my records which I don’t have to hand.

What do you consider as the most frustrating side of becoming a published author and what has been the most rewarding?

A: The most frustrating thing for me about being a writer is the knowledge that if I think of something incredibly witty or clever someone has probably already written something similar.

Are you married or single and how do you combine the writing life with home life? Do you have support?

A: I am married to the amazing and gorgeous Federika after being introduced to her 21 years ago by my extreme poverty. I have never had any problem combining writing with my home life and Federika has always been very understanding about my problems with chronic dreaming. As for support, she bought me a very effective little cushion for my computer chair last Christmas.

What do you like to do for fun when you’re not writing? Where do you like to vacation? Can you tell us briefly about this?

A: I really enjoy fishing but the last couple of years that pastime has been marred by the distinct absence of fish. For 10 years I used to look forward to going on vacation to Croatia but now I live there it feels like I am on a permanent vacation. Federika has strong ties to Lima in Peru as that’s where she grew up so we often travel there as well as the occasional visit to my brother David who owns a fabulous restaurant near Cape Town.

If you could be anywhere in the world for one hour right now, where would that place be and why?

A: There is nowhere in the world I would rather be right now. The one drawback about living in such a wonderful place is I never long to be anywhere else which for a dreamer can be quite a hardship.

Who is your biggest fan?

A: That would be my mum without doubt. She is a dressmaker and every day for fifteen years she listened to my music through headphones whilse she made dresses. The trouble was she used to get so angry about the music industry ignoring me that she had to stop listening as she got so worked up about it. She loved my book but now in her 81^st year she found it emotionally exhausting reliving all the disappointments of my career. I don’t know if it is in her nature or in the nature of mothers in general but sadly she only seems to remember my disappointments and not the wonderful times I had.

Where’s your favorite place to write at home?

A: It depends what you mean by writing. If you mean the physical act of writing it is in front of the computer in the living room. There is no way in the world I could write without a computer. However I would say 70% of what I create is constructed in my head outside my home so all I have to do is type it out. If I am really stuck with a piece I always find the solution while I am doing something entirely unconnected. The sentence you are reading was composed on the jetty just before I dived into the sea this afternoon.

Do you have any pets?

A: In the village I live you don’t get much choice. There is some kind of cat mafia headquarters around here that meets frequently to discuss which households don’t have a cat and then ensures one of their members is taken in. They turn up at your door offering you protection and if you don’t feed them they piss on your walls and make crying baby noises until you do. So 14 years ago we got stuck with Jutko, one of the village elders who has refused to let us get a dog which is what we would really like. He has allowed us to keep three tortoises that suddenly appeared several years ago and I must admit I am surprised at how attached we have become to them considering they are so hopeless at learning new tricks.

Tell us a secret no one else knows.

A: That would be my Indian friend “Ret” who I met during a tour of the Himalayas a few years ago. He was living in a cave in the middle of nowhere and told me he hated people so much he had devoted himself to anonymity. His sole mission in life was to remain the “Sikh Ret that no one knows.” I supposed I have messed that up for him now that I have told you about him but it serves him right for setting his dog on me.

What’s on your to do list today?
A: I have to build a small wall around a tangerine tree, fix new taps on the shower; fit parking barriers in our parking spaces before the Italians invade in Ferragosto; clear up Jutko’s vomit from last night and see if I can trade him for a dog; service the boat engine and find an excuse for neglecting my Croatian language studies for yet another day.

Now I’ve got a couple of fun questions for you. If Tom Hanks, in the movie Cast Away, unearthed a copy of your book, how would that help him find a way off the island?

A: That is so obvious I am wondering if it is a trick question. Getting off the island would be easy as he would just build a raft and use a patchwork of shipwrecked material for a sail. The tricky bit is what to do when he is becalmed at sea and that is where my book would come in as he would be laughing so loud reading it that it would create enough wind to power the sail. Before he knows it he will be home and dry ordering an advanced copy of the follow up book “Croatian Diaries.”

You have a chance to appear on the hit talent show for authors, American Book Idol, with judges Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, Kara Dioguardi and the newest addition, Ellen DeGeneres, to determine whether your book will make it to Hollywood and become a big screenplay where you’d make millions of dollars. What would impress them more – your book cover, an excerpt or your author photo – and why?

A: My author photo of course, there would be a huge amount of publicity generated by the controversy over what cream I use in order to keep me looking so young.

You just got word that your book has received the 2010 NY Times Bestselling Book Award and you have to attend the ceremony to give an acceptance speech. Anyone who’s anyone will be there and it’s your shot for stardom. What would you say and who would you thank?

A: “Thank you for this unexpected and long awaited award. I would just like to thank the vast army of record companies and book publishers who without their consistent and dedicated incompetence this book would never have been made possible. If it wasn’t for that genius over there” I say pointing to someone in the audience whilst wiping a tear from my eye “my life’s work would have forever languished on the internet virtual bookshelves. I will never begrudge any of the millions he will make out of me.”

I understand that you are touring with Pump Up Your Book Promotion during September and October via a virtual book tour. Can you tell us all why you chose a virtual book tour to promote your book online?

A: There was no other choice.

Thank you for this interview, Nemo James. Good luck on your virtual book tour!

Thank you. Do you want to buy a cat ?

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Question of the Day

How do you make sales happen for you?

A lot of hard work! I sponsor a lot of on line parties, festivals and contests. Book sales don’t magically happen, believe me. An author has to work hard to earn her readers. And then she has to work hard to keep them by giving them something they’ll enjoy reading. I try hard to make my books worth a reader’s time.

-- Sheila Roberts, Author of Winter at the Beach